Insanely abnormal

I have a condition. When ppl ask me questions that are often rhetorical, I have to stop up (thinking that the entire world pauses as I think) and play around with the question before I can return with a reply of some kind.

"Are you insane?"

"Why can't you be normal?"

"Have you lost your mind?"

Let me give you a peak into my endless stream of thoughts when addressed with these 'questions' (thou I believe phrases is more fitting).

Am I insane? Well, for starters, who the heck is sane? The normal guy who hasn't lost his mind? Naw, I'd rather be slightly insane than Psychology-Dictionary-sane. I think it's healthy, or at least it can't be any more dangerous than the rest of the wonderful daily activities we engage in. Traffic. Cell phones. Smoking. Beer. Food. Just mentioning the #1 factors that are killing the West (oh the irony). Ring a bell?

Normal... The word doesn't go well with me and I feel as if I'm having a box (read: category) forced over my head. How do act; what to do; when to do it; what to say etc. And more importantly: how NOT to act; what NOT to do; when NOT to do it; what NOT to say. As you've probably picked up on, I'm not very conform. Or, to put it simple: I don't like being like everyone else, implied that's the meaning of being normal. By the way, what's the perimeter of normal? Of course I acknowledge that the definition of normal is an forever ongoing discussion, but there seems to be an implicit tone that goes: as long as you do as the average majority in everyday situations you're qualified to fit in the category labeled: normal. Congratulations.

Finally, my favorite. Have I lost my mind? Am I out of my mind? I certainly cannot be in my mind and physically outside of it at the same time. Law of physics. Regarding whether or not I've lost it, I'm not sure if I ever had it. And if I did lose it, where the hell did it go?

Help.