As my alarm clock goes off, I roll around to snooze it a few more minutes. I'm not ready to open my eyes to another day yet, let alone putting my mind and thoughts in gear. As time catches up with me, my eyes widen and another day arises, along with my thoughts.
A brand new day filled with endless opportunities and as many pitfalls. The daily routine goes by without much effort, physical or mental, which gives me time to think of all the "what ifs" and "might bes". Before I reach the bus stop my mind's all cooped up with all sorts of hopes and aims for the day. "I have to read at least 60 pages". "I won't get tempted to buy lunch at school; I'll eat my two dry slices of bread instead". "Will I hear from him?" "Maybe I'll be able to run a mile today?"
Sometimes I'm not sure whether I'm naive or just plain stupid. I know this dance. I've done it a million times, and I'll probably do it a million more. Why do most of us build up expectations to unreachable heights? Do we like to fall on our face or is it just the rhythm of life?
Come to think of it, this is what life is about: hopes, let downs, disappointment, needs, confirmation, getting hurt... It becomes an unbreakable cycle; an unconscious way of living. Why do we keep setting ourselves up? It's like we need to be unbeatable to ourselves. We can't let ourselves win.
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