Love is patient

Love is patient, love is kind.

It is not jealous,

love is not pompous,

it is not inflated, it is not rude,

it does not seek its own interests,

it is not quick-tempered,

it does not brood injury,

it does not rejoice over wrongdoing

but rejoices with truth.

It bears all things, believes all things,

hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails.

Lesson of the day

Make your choice

Sometimes you wait for destiny's touch

to help pick your choices, decisions and such

change all your maybe's into yes's or no's

direct your own path that you should have chose

But waiting allows your goals to be tweaked

by weakened decisions preferred by the meek

your roads will be handpicked by unknown fate

and then comes regret, and by then it's too late

Your decisions and choices are easy to make

but your excuses are many, and reasons all fake

step up and stand tall, announce your decision

don't ever look back with mirrored revision.

We are victims of choice, but we have a choice. You can choose to make whatever you want happen or you can choose to at least make an effort to make it happen. Choose to make it a good day. Either way; choose, believe, try.

The winds of change are controlled by you.

An addict

There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just put it out there.

I love shopping!

Phew, glad to have that out in the open. It's not just that I love walking around, trying on different styles, checking out what's new and taking a quick trip to make-belive land. Surprised I didn't mention spending money? If you ask me, it should be absolutely carefree to shop, therefore I am the president of the Shopping for Free Association.

But I have yet another confession to make. It's not the clothes I'm obsessed with. It's the books. I can easily pass a clothing store without even making an effort, but the book stores... The pain about living in Trondheim is that they're everywhere! You can't avoid eyeing one either as a sign on a mall or in the street. I could seriously spend hours walking around the store reading on the back of the books, old as new. I love how they feel, their covers, the words one by one, neatly horisontally placed. It is, needless to say, dangerously expencive for me to enter a book store (which I so too often do). Even at the university I can't be spared of the book store so close to the exit (strategic?).

I've tried to going to the libary instead, but it's just not the same. I like the way the books look in my book shelf (why else would it be called a book shelf). I like to bring them out every now and then and turn the page; run thru the memories. I like the smell and the feel of them. I can't do

that if I have to return them. It's like Carrie in "Sex an the City" and her obsession with shoes. Imagine if there was a place where she could borrow the shoes for a certain time and the return them again when she was done with them. Everyone who has watched at least one episode of SATC knows that it wouldn't happen in a million years! She likes to look at her shoes, touch them, feel them (maybe not smell them, but you get the picture).

I dream of an entire room filled with books in my future home. Somewhere that have the scent of a library, that illuminates your imagination and that sends a thrill thru your body; you have to read! I like novels with great romantic stories, terrible losses and heart aches. Books of a battle between good and evil; right and wrong; love or death. Tales of a forgotten time and leaps into the future. Tragic family relationships. Hopeful young lovers and their paths meeting at a most unexpected time. Novels filles with the cruelty of the world that leaves no hope for the good in man. The philosophical ones that leaves you wondering. Biographies of importent, inspiering, magnificent and forgotten ppl; their thoughts, hopes and aspirations. Books concerning specific subjects related to my studies.

I'm intreaged by how the written word never fails to entertain me, one way or another.

Don't underestimate the power of a word.

A different Valentine

Joy

Today, you win either way. It's Valentine's, it's Mother's day, it's fastelaven.

If you don't have anyone special in your life to be your Valentine, you'll at least have both Mother's day and fastelaven. If you're not a mother or are without a mother, you still have fastelaven.

You can't lose.

Happy Valentine! Happy Mother's day! Happy fastelaven!

Let's fly

Opportunities. Choices. Potential mistakes?

All so often I stumble over opportunities not knowing what to do with them. Turn my head and walk away or stop to take a closer look?

Sometimes the opportunities are staring me right in the eye but I'm too blind to see them. It's frightful to look outside the little safe, familiar box which mostly includes the opportunities I've chosen to bring along. Of course there are always those that decided to tag along even thou I didn't want them there, but I've grown accustomed to them. It's actually fascinating how flexible and transmorphic human beings are; how we can transform our outer- or inner self just to fit in. Whether it's a specific situation or, sometimes, fitting into the life we've put together for ourselves, we all act like shapeshifters. No matter how many right choices we take or potential mistakes we avoid, we will no matter what end up feeling out of place at one point.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmDYbiyMHvo&NR=1
Quite fitting. Enjoy.

Having all these choices to make sometimes feels like carrying a huge load of cement in my pockets. And even if I keep emptying my pockets rather frequently, they still keep getting fuller and heavier. Might this be the side effect of getting older or being betwixt and between? Either way, it's frightening. A choice I make could shake the very ground I stand on; change my inner beliefs; change who I am; change the path of my future. The most intimidating part is that this could all happen without me knowing.

The major opportunities and following choices are naturally enough the most mind dwelling. Should I take this job? What if I move? Might he be the one for me? These kinds of questions give me the chills, and I know the reason. What if I make a mistake? Then again, how will I ever know...

What do you say to taking chances? What do you say to jumping of the edge? Never knowing if there's solid ground below, a hand to hold or hell to pay.

Jump!

Insanely abnormal

I have a condition. When ppl ask me questions that are often rhetorical, I have to stop up (thinking that the entire world pauses as I think) and play around with the question before I can return with a reply of some kind.

"Are you insane?"

"Why can't you be normal?"

"Have you lost your mind?"

Let me give you a peak into my endless stream of thoughts when addressed with these 'questions' (thou I believe phrases is more fitting).

Am I insane? Well, for starters, who the heck is sane? The normal guy who hasn't lost his mind? Naw, I'd rather be slightly insane than Psychology-Dictionary-sane. I think it's healthy, or at least it can't be any more dangerous than the rest of the wonderful daily activities we engage in. Traffic. Cell phones. Smoking. Beer. Food. Just mentioning the #1 factors that are killing the West (oh the irony). Ring a bell?

Normal... The word doesn't go well with me and I feel as if I'm having a box (read: category) forced over my head. How do act; what to do; when to do it; what to say etc. And more importantly: how NOT to act; what NOT to do; when NOT to do it; what NOT to say. As you've probably picked up on, I'm not very conform. Or, to put it simple: I don't like being like everyone else, implied that's the meaning of being normal. By the way, what's the perimeter of normal? Of course I acknowledge that the definition of normal is an forever ongoing discussion, but there seems to be an implicit tone that goes: as long as you do as the average majority in everyday situations you're qualified to fit in the category labeled: normal. Congratulations.

Finally, my favorite. Have I lost my mind? Am I out of my mind? I certainly cannot be in my mind and physically outside of it at the same time. Law of physics. Regarding whether or not I've lost it, I'm not sure if I ever had it. And if I did lose it, where the hell did it go?

Help.

Expectations and aspirations

As my alarm clock goes off, I roll around to snooze it a few more minutes. I'm not ready to open my eyes to another day yet, let alone putting my mind and thoughts in gear. As time catches up with me, my eyes widen and another day arises, along with my thoughts.

A brand new day filled with endless opportunities and as many pitfalls. The daily routine goes by without much effort, physical or mental, which gives me time to think of all the "what ifs" and "might bes". Before I reach the bus stop my mind's all cooped up with all sorts of hopes and aims for the day. "I have to read at least 60 pages". "I won't get tempted to buy lunch at school; I'll eat my two dry slices of bread instead". "Will I hear from him?" "Maybe I'll be able to run a mile today?"

Sometimes I'm not sure whether I'm naive or just plain stupid. I know this dance. I've done it a million times, and I'll probably do it a million more. Why do most of us build up expectations to unreachable heights? Do we like to fall on our face or is it just the rhythm of life?

Come to think of it, this is what life is about: hopes, let downs, disappointment, needs, confirmation, getting hurt... It becomes an unbreakable cycle; an unconscious way of living. Why do we keep setting ourselves up? It's like we need to be unbeatable to ourselves. We can't let ourselves win.

Life is a game. Play.

Small and meaningful moments

As I walked outside this morning, I came to think of all the little things I love. The kind of things that you might be the only one noticing at the moment and granting a second thought or even a smile. I'll mention a few of these moments that pass by as any other daily activity for many, but for me, they're sacred.

• I like to walk outside in the morning at the moment when the street lights gets turned off as a sign that morning has come; the dawn of yet another day filled with wonders of what might become of it.
• I like to turn on my iPod and get the thrill of not knowing what song it might come up with. Maybe a song I had forgotten was on my iPod which brings back memories that have been tucked away all too long.
• I like checking the time to find that it's 12:34.
• I like opening a new bag of coffee and the unique scent it lets out.

• I like opening the door at the "Harry Potter"-building at campus NTNU Gløshaugen, pushing or pulling against the wind pounding on the door and eventually feeling how it brushes against my face.
• I like how the snow on the ground plays in the air like a little snow-tornado after a car driven by.

All the little wonders of life...

Stumble, but not fall

You know this day is going to come. You just don't know when or how hard it's going to hit. It might be gentle and maybe almost kind. Well, if so then you know that it's not entirely one of those dreaded days. The day where everything goes wrong!

These days always gives themselves away of being the same as any other day. But one can smell its hidden intentions luring as soon as you open your eyes. You get up feeling fresh and ready for a new day. Next you realize that you might be short on time, but you feel extremely efficient this morning and before you know it you've had breakfast and made lunch, put on clothes and make-up, made the bed, done your hair and packed your bag. Yup, this is going to be a splendid day!

Until you reach the bus stop... You've somehow managed to miss the bus, even thou you're 5 minutes early (and that does not happen too often!). Of course it turns out the bus was so late that it arrives at the same time as the one scheduled after it. No worries, you'll still make it to class in time, so you get on the first bus (the one that was suppose to arrive 15 minutes ago). The bus passes the next bus stop and gets a red light in the intersection. You're on the bus minding your own business, chilling to the sound of the music on your iPod and smiling at the last text message you received. You look up to realize that the bus is for some reason moving backwards! Guess what? Something's wrong with the bus. You have to get off and run to the next bus stop trying to catch the bus that was on schedule and that you didn't get on in the first place.

By the time you get to school it's way too late for class so you decide to go work out instead. That should at least be harmless! You change your clothes and walk into the gym. On the 15 meter walk between the locker room and the gym, you of course manage to drop your iPod 3 times. When you're on a roll you're on a roll... At least you get a great warm up and have to make a quick stop to the bathroom before you continue the work out. You're Clinging on to the iPod since it seems you have some trouble holding on to it today. You make it thru the hallway and thru the locker room without dropping it. Safe. Or? As you enter the bathroom the iPod mysteriously slips out of your hand and you watch it fly thru the air, directed right into the one place you don't want it to land. It's inevitable. The toilet.

After some interesting minutes in the bathroom you get the work out over with, carefully tippy-toeing around the gym in fear of what might happen next. A dumbbell dropped on the foot? Falling of the leg curl machine? Tripping over the yoga ball?

Incredibly enough you make it thru the work out in one piece (as opposed to the iPod). You take a shower; spend a few minutes in the sauna before you do the morning procedure all over again. You walk out of the building with a good feeling; this might be a good day after all. Walking towards the school, turning your face towards the sky, enjoying the sunrays stroking your chin. You smile.

You've forgotten all about the ice covering every inch of the ground. What goes up must come down. Your tailbone will tell you that after an encounter with the icy ground.

Best to get home. Safe. No ice.

Focus

My Starbucks mug is empty and I just finished the last piece of chocolate (new melkesjokolade with Kvikk Lunch is recommendable). My book is lying wide open in front of me begging of me to read a few more pages. Political anthropology. I could come off as a boring, uninteresting and a not-worth-wasting-time-on-subject, but on the contrary. To my surprise, it's actually the quite opposite.

I've never been too interested in political structures or power methods (as the book refers to it as), but in a cultural perspective the strangest things can lure its way into my interest-zone.

The question then remains: why aren't my eyes focused on the book and not the computer? I guess that's one of the many mysteries of life, and not to mention the mysteries of the human brain. Why is it that we keep wandering off into the realm of dreams and to-do lists, and for some reason suddenly find ourselves preoccupied with something else. I don't know how it happened. Last thing I know I was reading about political symbolism amongst the Creoles in Sierra Leone...

Let me retrace my steps. Reading about Sierra Leone (political anthropology). Drinking coffee (Starbucks). Drifting off to New York (thanks to the Starbucks). Easter holiday in New York (still the Starbucks)? Looking up flights at expedia.com (how to get to NYC). Checking my e-mail (while on the Internet, why not multi-task). E-mail from the library (the books I reserved are ready for me to pick up). Check facebook (while on the Internet...). Couldn't find any flights that didn't include 12h at Heathrow (not a big fan of London or Heathrow). Upset and frustrated (aha, I see where this is going). Blog.

Ok, now that the mystery is unraveled, I guess I have to get the books. And when I get back home, without doubt, I won't be able to put them away. In other words, I can surely close the political anthropology book for now.

Life is fairly predictable.

What to do...

..when you finish your book?
..while sick in bed?
..when "Sex and the City" suddenly gets boring (who would have ever thought)?

Well, I am, like the rest of the world, fascinated by the amazing imagined community inside the World Wide Web, and since I'm already a frequent user of other social networks others have come up with, I figured: why not make my own? Everyone else seems to be doing it, and if they can pull it off, then why the heck can't I!

Seems to me like ppl start blogs for numerous reasons. Some have a message they need to get around the world in one way or another, and a blog is probably a better - and less annoying - way than the e-mails labeled "If you don't read this you're cold hearted". The implicit reason? A blog is voluentary to read. For others it starts with a school project or some other mandatory task which forces them to sit in front of the computer writing nonsense, reflections and thoughts that are easier to distribute on the web than on a piece of paper or to say out loud. Again it's as if we're under the illusion that the thoughts that come across as unorthodox for some, disappear in the never-ending noise that the Internet really is. And somehow, this makes it ok.. Although, I believe this is more or less the only commonality there is when it comes to blogging and by some means it links us all in a whole new imagined community (more on the subject: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imagined_community). Of course there are several other reasons, including mine: "why not?" Maybe - for all I know - I might actually have something meaningful that's trapped inside my head and that may come to some use. This is most likely not the right medium to get a yes/no/maybe answer to whether or not is might be so, but then again: why not?

I haven't quite mapped out what this blog mainly is going to be about, but I have a feeling that I'll be fluctuating around, bouncing from subject to subject, event from event, thought to thought, etc. like I normally do in the world outside the World Wide Web.

In the end thou, no matter what, it's all about making a difference!